Difficulties of Being Here

Lack of moral support by friends, higher costs of energy due to a different language and different pace that surround you, different food (that sometimes constitutes a real challenge!), no own income, and an insecure future perspectives. These are issues that confront me here, that drain my energy resources. A friend of mine pointed them out to me, suggesting I should give myself more time. She was right. Adapting to the local circumstances itself is a task not to be underestimated. It may explain why I often feel tired, drained and therefore disappointed by myself. This disappointment paired with other things that come up have manifested themselves in a real depressive phase. I have been listening to the same old songs by Tool, A Perfect Circle, Massive Attack, etc. Now, I feel, the talk with my friend helped. This is only so much I can do – and that much I should do. If that doe not lead to any employment – so be it! Maybe I will figure out another time why I am on this planet. Patience!