What am I doing here?

I guess, at some point any expat asks her- or himself: "What am I doing here?" That question is particularly prominent among development workers or other people working in some sort of 'foreign help' (or at least I hope it is). Can or should we help other nations by being there on the ground, taking away the few high qualified job openings from the local population? The response to that question may always be a personal, political, and ethical decision. In my case, the response depends on my mood.

These days, I have been feeling quite homesick. (Probably because the job search is slowing down and looking more dim than before.) Thus, existential questions rise again - among them the one mentioned above. Why do I keep leaving those places where I make myself a little home - like Berlin, Konstanz, New York, or even Tel Aviv...? When I feel homesick, I miss my friends. So, these last days I have been looking at some pictures and must conclude that I have some of the finest friends in the world. But I feel that I do not appreciate them enough when I am with them. That is perhas the reason why I keep leaving: to remind myself how lucky I really am! Thanks to all of you!